How many times have we had a conversation with a Trump supporter that ended with us trying to bury them in facts and figures, and saying, “Here, just read these articles”?
And how did that work out for us and them? Most of the time the other person counters with a stack of their own facts and reading assignments, and we end up like two ships passing in the night, both slinging plastic binders full of “true information” at each other that neither of bother to read. Everyone’s firing blindly in the dark because neither of us really knows where the other is coming from.
The problem is the other person doesn’t trust us enough to trust the information we’re sharing, let alone take time to read it and really consider it. We have no credibility with them—certainly not enough to navigate around their trust in politicians like Trump or pundits on Fox News.
So how do we build credibility without making them defensive?
This is the fifth and final part of my dive into what we at Smart Politics call The Trust Pyramid, the emotional base for how progressives can have more productive and persuasive conversations with Trump voters.
These days, if we’re having conversations with Trump voters, our primary goal is likely to help them change their minds about policies and specific politicians.
To convince someone to see things and vote differently, at some point we’re going to want to make our case in support of our beliefs, perhaps in contrast to theirs. And to do that—to top off the Trust Pyramid we’ve been climbing step by step—we need to establish credibility with them.
For people to see us as credible, we must convince them of three things:
We are rational.
We are unbiased.
We are knowledgeable.
Are we really all those things all the time? Probably not—the only thing any of us are all the time is human. Maybe we're not perfect, but at least we're trying to be unbiased. We’re trying to show them we’re humble, that we recognize that we don't have all the answers, and we admit when we make a mistake. We’re trying to be open-minded ourselves before asking them to be open-minded.
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1. Show them we’re not crazy
The most important step in establishing credibility is showing Trump voters we are sane, rational people. You may wonder why this step is even necessary—isn’t it obvious to others how smart and not crazy we are? Um, no, sorry! Nothing personal, but when it comes to judgments about sanity, let’s stop for a moment and consider some of the things we, as rational progressives, catch ourselves sometimes thinking about folks who voted for Trump.
See what I mean? Didn’t take long to come up with a pretty nasty list, did it? So, yes, they’re often thinking similar things about us. That’s why it’s important to demonstrate our rationality in order to help them to set aside their negative stereotypes about us and take what we say seriously.
People rarely think their own beliefs are extreme but often think of the views of others as extreme since most people judge the extremity of someone's views by the distance from their own position. So, even if we think our views are normal, if a Trump supporter holds very different beliefs, they’ll tend to view them as extreme. And the more distant their views are from ours, the harder it will be for them to understand the rationale behind them. If what we say feels too far out to them, we and our beliefs will simply be dismissed as irrational.
In general, we should share attitudes and beliefs that lie within Trump voters' “zone of acceptance.” In The Catalyst, Jonah Berger explains that everyone has their own personal zone of beliefs that they are willing to consider. Outside that zone, the idea will be completely rejected. To help someone shift their beliefs, we need to start in their zone and gradually shift in the direction we want to go. The best way to do this is to initially avoid sharing beliefs they consider “extreme” until their window has moved or expanded enough to include them.
2. Show them we’re unbiased
Nobody is truly unbiased (see the above bit about being human), but we need to show Trump voters we’re at least trying to be fair before they’ll take us seriously. In fact, when it comes to influencing someone’s political beliefs, demonstrating our personal objectivity is usually more important than presenting objective information.
Here are some things we can do to demonstrate our impartiality during a conversation:
Steelman the opposing argument—make the hypothetical case for their side of the issue by understanding their stance, strengthening it, and then engaging with the strongest version of it
Admit the weaknesses of some arguments made by people on our side
Acknowledge that people on our side sometimes behave badly
Openly change our minds on something during the conversation
Weigh arguments for and against a particular policy or candidate
Tell them how their perspective influences us
Acknowledge our ambivalence on parts of an issue
All those seem kind of scary, don’t they? Like we’re leaving the door too wide open for them to charge in and “win” the argument? That’s the risk of doing this work—and we always say, it is work. We make ourselves more vulnerable and set aside traditional “debate tactics” in order to open ourselves and others to a more effective form of long-term connection and persuasion.
It can feel like a leap of faith, showing this sort of vulnerability in what we may have convinced ourselves is some sort of “battle arena.” That’s why it’s important for us to not think of these conversations as a fight or battle, but as listening and learning then helping teach. In that latter framing, it becomes easier to say, “I’m not always sure or right—let’s work together to figure it out.”
3. Show them we know stuff
Yes, I know I just said we need to admit we don’t always know everything. But we need a balance between admitting our openness and vulnerability and also showing we know some things.
Even when Trump supporters think we’re rational and unbiased, they often disregard our perspective because they think they know more. The solution to this problem, however, isn’t to hurl facts at them.
If they don’t trust we’re knowledgeable, they won’t trust our facts.
When we resort to fact-based argumentation, we trigger their defensiveness.
So how do we show them we’re knowledgeable? The trick is to provide information that mostly comports with what they already know. For example, if they express concern about violent, undocumented gang members, we can say,
“Stories of horrific violence are understandably terrifying on an emotional level. I agree that if an undocumented immigrant commits a serious crime, they can be deported after receiving due process under our Constitution and laws. But you know what I learned that surprised me? Immigrants, including the undocumented, are less likely than native-born Americans to be arrested, convicted, and imprisoned for crimes.”
This shows our knowledge without going too far outside the other person’s zone of beliefs.
That said, we can’t let the urge to always have the right fact or source at fingertips trip us up. It’s tempting to feel like we must be subject-matter experts on everything, on every single political or social issue that comes up--an urge that goes back to the idea of the debate student with their plastic case full of facts, figures, and sources on little note cards.
However, most of us aren’t policy experts and we shouldn’t have to be. Instead, a lot of what we know is a result of our life experience, and when relevant, it makes sense to share that experience in a political conversation through a personal story or anecdote.
We’ll talk more about exactly how to use storytelling to strengthen our point when we get to the final “Share” step of the Persuasion Conversation Cycle.
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Speaking of which, this concludes our trip to the top of the Trust Pyramid, our map of what we hope to achieve in a conversation
So now, how do we actually do all this in a conversation? Next week, I’ll begin similar deep dives into each of the five parts of the Persuasion Conversation Cycle, our handy step-by-step guide to having productive and persuasive conversations.
Up first next week: Ask!
If you’d like to familiarize yourself ahead of time with the Persuasion Conversation Cycle check out:
THE TRUST PYRAMID lays out our emotional goals for lowering defenses in conversation.
Comfort: Show you won't attack or try to control them
Connection: Show interest, establish affinity, and form an alliance in pursuit of common goals
Comprehension: Show you understand them and their point of view
Compassion: Show you care about them and aren't just out for yourself
Credibility: Show you're rational, knowledgeable, and unbiased
THE PERSUASION CONVERSATION CYCLE guides us through how best to carry out a conversation.
Ask nonjudgmental, open-ended questions
Listen to try to understand the other person's views
Reflect by summarizing the other person's perspective
Validate as you identify and name areas of common ground
Share your perspective without making an argument
What is the Smart Politics Way?
Smart Politics encourages and teaches progressives to have more productive conversations with Trump voters. We believe the most effective actions for achieving short- and long-term progressive goals involve talking one-on-one with and listening compassionately and constructively to folks with different opinions.
