To Persuade Trump Voters We Must Understand Them
Comprehension is the Third Step in the Smart Politics Trust Pyramid
How often do hear we something on Fox News or see Trump supporters posting on social media and think to ourselves, “How can they possibly believe that?!”
There’s a simple, powerful way to find out:
Just ask them.
This is the third part of my dive into what we call The Trust Pyramid, the emotional base for how progressives can have more productive and persuasive conversations with Trump voters.
Catch up with the overview of the two main tools Smart Politics uses; The Trust Pyramid and The Persuasion Conversation Cycle.
And check out the previous two steps on the Pyramid:
The third step up the Trust Pyramid: Comprehension
Let’s be honest with ourselves: We progressives aren’t always genuinely curious to learn about those who disagree with us. One of the biggest mistakes we make in conversations with folks on the Right is that we don’t try to understand what’s going on inside their hearts and minds. Instead, it’s more short-term satisfying—driven by fear and frustration—to make assumptions about who they are, what they believe, and why, and then scoff and sneer and dismiss those beliefs.
Partly that’s because we too often see and hear the worst, most extreme ideas in right-wing media and from trolls on social media, and we assume we know what all “Trump voters” believe. It’s the fundamental attribution error – we think the statements and policies of Trump, Musk, and right-wing pundits and trolls carry over to everyone who voted for Trump.
This flawed approach also affects how we see elections: It makes it much easier for us to say, “You voted for Trump, therefore you believe and support everything he says and does.” That was never completely true, and less so now. At this moment, more Trump voters are starting to feel confusion and worry as the escalating extremity from the White House and Musk begins to hurt them and their loved ones.
When we make those assumptions, Trump voters sense that we don’t perceive them as they are, and they naturally become distressed. Just as people experience cognitive dissonance when incoming information doesn’t align with their preexisting beliefs, they experience a kind of cognitive dissonance when others see them differently from how they see themselves.
It’s like looking into a funhouse mirror and seeing a distorted, even monstrous, image looking back. We all naturally recoil from this aversive feeling and become irritable or even angry. Just think about how you feel when you see online posts that accuse all Democrats or liberals or Leftists of being “evil.”
The Good News
Luckily, the opposite is true when others sense we perceive them accurately. Most people go through life experiencing an uncomfortable “empathy gap” between themselves and how others perceive them. When we reduce this gap by showing Trump supporters that we understand where they’re coming from and why, their cognitive dissonance weakens, and they experience a flood of positive feelings.
That’s why seeking and showing comprehension, right there in the center of the Pyramid, is so important. As we encourage one another to talk with Trump voters and ask them their opinions on policies and news stories, it’s important to remember that understanding does not equal support or acquiescence. But if we want to help others change their minds about issues and political leaders, we must grasp what they think and what drives their beliefs and support. Then we need to demonstrate our understanding—our comprehension—back to them.
For people to feel understood in a conversation, you need to convince them of two things:
You grasp their point of view
You get why they feel that way
Together, these two factors lead to empathic trust—as we understand and share their feelings (feelings, not necessarily beliefs), we’re building that all-important trust. Which, in turn, reduces their defensiveness, which is often driven by belonging and esteem needs.
In addition to the way it makes them feel, some additional benefits of comprehension are it:
shows you care enough to do the work of getting to know them
increases predictability and reliability
leads to reciprocity
provides a form of validation
establishes shared reality
Ask, Listen, Reflect — Then Do It Again
As I’ve mentioned in other pieces, the Trust Pyramid maps out our emotional goals in a conversation, while the Persuasion Conversation Cycle helps us have the conversation. But this middle Comprehension step of the Pyramid probably tracks most directly to the Cycle: More than half the Persuasion Conversation Cycle is devoted to building and demonstrating comprehension.
Showing others you understand their point of view during conversations primarily involves a three step process called looping: asking questions to elicit their point of view, listening deeply and fully to their answers, and then summarizing back what they share. That’s why the first three steps of the Cycle are Ask, Listen, Reflect, and we loop through those three steps as often as necessary to build true and deep comprehension.
I’ll keep diving deeper into the all the steps in the Trust Pyramid and Persuasion Conversation Cycle in coming weeks, but for now you can familiarize yourself with the Cycle and how it helps build the Pyramid either:
or by watching one of Dr. Tamerius’ introductory webinar videos from last year:
We’re still climbing the Trust Pyramid! Next week, the fourth step: Finding Compassion.
THE TRUST PYRAMID lays out our emotional goals for lowering defenses in conversation.
Comfort: Show you won't attack or try to control them
Connection: Show interest, establish affinity, and form an alliance in pursuit of common goals
Comprehension: Show you understand them and their point of view
Compassion: Show you care about them and aren't just out for yourself
Credibility: Show you're rational, knowledgeable, and unbiased
THE PERSUASION CONVERSATION CYCLE guides us through how best to carry out a conversation.
Ask nonjudgmental, open-ended questions
Listen to try to understand the other person's views
Reflect by summarizing the other person's perspective
Validate as you identify and name areas of common ground
Share your perspective without making an argument
What is the Smart Politics Way?
Smart Politics encourages and teaches progressives to have more productive conversations with Trump voters. We believe the most effective actions for achieving short- and long-term progressive goals involve talking one-on-one with and listening compassionately and constructively to folks with different opinions.
My recent pieces on our work:
Why This is the Way https://karintamerius.substack.com/p/why-this-is-the-way
Five Things We Won’t Ask You to Do https://karintamerius.substack.com/p/five-things-smart-politics-wont-ask
Want to learn more about Smart Politics and get involved?
Every Sunday night (and some Wednesdays), we meet on Zoom to teach, share, and support one another. Sign up for email recaps and reminders about these weekly calls: https://forms.gle/XB9uw5rtzub5RF3e9
Locke Peterseim is the Smart Politics Content Manager.
In order to understand (comprehend) others it is very helpful to understand the model of reality by which they navigate the world. We can observe from child development that there are 3 basic models of reality.
The most complex model is the one by wich I had always assumed most adults had - capacity for a reflective mode of thinking. My assessment now is that less than half the population is capable of this and when people are overwhelmed that capacity degrades.
The next basic model of reality is what people might call transactional or quid pro quo. The third is an early model in which the person imagines that others determine their actions, e.g. "you made me hit you (because you made me angry)."
I wrote briefly about this in my blog and hope to write more to explain this further.
Love this!! Let’s go for these conversations…https://open.substack.com/pub/nealbrodskylmft/p/100-conversations?r=ez7m&utm_medium=ios