Why “No” Is Politically Toxic
And what you should say instead.
Hello everyone!
Here is your tip of the week PLUS two inspiring quotes and three questions to ask yourself and others.
1 Smart Tip
To increase your political influence:
When you’re tempted to say “no,” say “yes, and” instead. Telling someone they’re wrong usually makes them defensive—so they dig in and marshal arguments for why they’re right. However, if you acknowledge that some of what they’re saying is correct, they’ll relax and view your ideas as a welcome addition to what they already believe (rather than a threatening revision).
For example:
OP: “Joe Biden is a disaster as president. Just look at the mess our economy is in since he’s been president.”
You: “Yes, a lot of people are struggling right now. And there are things that Biden hasn’t done yet that could really help, like making sure the infrastructure package gets through Congress.”
2 Smart Quotes
“When you counsel someone, you should appear to be reminding him of something he had forgotten, not of the light he was unable to see.”
-- Baltasar Gracian
“We have to face the fact that either all of us are going to die together or we are going to learn to live together--and if we live together, we have to talk.”
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
3 Smart Questions
How often do you say “no” when discussing politics?
How do you feel and respond when someone says “no” to you in a political conversation?
“Yes, and” is just one way to avoid saying “no” in a conversation. What are other ways to soften your disagreement so the person you’re talking with doesn’t become defensive?
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Until next week,
Karin Tamerius