Sometimes Debate Works... Sometimes It Doesn’t
Are you wise enough to know the difference?
Hello everyone!
Here’s your tip of the week PLUS two inspiring quotes and one recommended reading.
1 Smart Tip
To increase your political influence:
It’s important to know when to use reason and evidence and when to avoid them. Arguing can work well when your impartial audience hasn’t already formed an opinion on the issue. For example, judges and juries pledge to start with a blank slate and listen equally to both sides.
Most political conversations, however, set out to change the minds of people who’ve already formed an opinion--it’s like trying to get the opposing lawyer to switch sides: Presenting your arguments doesn’t persuade them; they just present theirs back.
When people have already formed an opinion, focus instead on strengthening your relationship with them and cultivating doubt. Especially encourage them to rethink their own perspective by asking questions that gently highlight inconsistencies in their thinking and remind them of their values and goals. That creates a safe space for them to persuade themselves.
2 Smart Quotes
“If you wish to persuade me, you must think my thoughts, feel my feelings, and speak my words.”
--Cicero
“The secret of all true persuasion is to induce the person to persuade himself.”
1 Smart Read
One of my all-time favorite persuasion books is Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion by George J. Thompson, a linguist and former police officer who shows the best way to reach people is to work with, not against, them. The book’s peppered with interesting anecdotes from his days as a cop as well as insights drawn from academia and his training in martial arts. Dr. Thompson sees verbal judo as “the gentle art of gaining voluntary compliance through empathic persuasion,” but I see it as something much bigger: the art of helping people make better decisions for themselves and others by meeting their emotional needs.
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Until next week,
Karin Tamerius
P.S. Good news! This week’s webinar on encouraging loved ones to get vaccinated was so successful, I’m teaching another one on Tuesday August 31 at 8 pm ET. SIGN UP NOW to reserve your spot. (Optional sliding-scale donation.)