Ready to Talk About Abortion?
Ready to Talk About Abortion?
How to do it effectively.
Hello everyone!
Here’s your tip of the week PLUS two inspiring quotes and one recommended reading.
1 Smart Tip
To increase your political influence:
Remember a few weeks ago when we noted what an emotional topic Afghanistan could be? Well, it’s got nothing on abortion. Few issues (with the possible exception of racism) come close to matching the deeply, personally felt heat and anger generated on both sides by the abortion battle in the United States.
So how can the Smart Politics approach handle such a volatile topic?
Conversations about abortion often go awry because participants fixate on their policy positions. Instead, set aside discussion of legislation and court rulings to focus on three areas ripe for common ground: values, goals, and emotions. In other words, don’t shy away from the powerful emotions surrounding abortion. When you lean into them, you may find some of the core values and emotions on both sides aren’t wildly different.
First, identify shared beliefs around the values of life, individual freedom, and privacy.
Second, highlight shared goals of saving lives, reducing the number of abortions, preventing unwanted pregnancies, reducing violence against women, and strengthening families.
Third, acknowledge your own strong emotions and admit this issue is hard to discuss with people who don’t see things the same way you do.
Once you’ve found some common ground, turn to the future: What solutions can you both agree will help achieve those common goals and still align with those common values? How can you work together to make them a reality?
Remember to always try to end the conversation on a positive note and invite the other person to come back and talk more about it.
2 Smart Quotes
“If you meet a sectary, or a hostile partisan, never recognize the dividing lines; but meet on what common ground remains,--if only that the sun shines, and the rain rains for both; the area will widen very fast, and ere you know it the boundary mountains, on which the eye had fastened, have melted into air.”
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
“If we reach common ground, and can understand what everybody’s going through, we can really affect change. And make sure that everyone is treated equally and has the same freedom.”
--Colin Kaepernick
1 Smart Read
Looking for a good “starter book” about interpersonal dialogue outside the political setting? I recommend Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen. Practicing these skills in everyday interactions will help you transition to political topics more easily.
My favorite section is on avoiding defensive triggers by talking from a “Third Story” perspective--as if observed by a third party. Looking at your conversation from the outside then sharing what you see can work wonders in political conversations.
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Until next week,
Karin Tamerius