How to Talk with a Conspiracy Theorist
Start by making them feel special
Hello everyone!
Here’s your tip of the week PLUS two inspiring quotes and one recommended book.
1 Smart Tip
To increase your political influence:
When talking with someone who believes in a conspiracy theory, the temptation is to debunk their false ideas. But you’ll do more to help them change if you meet their emotional needs instead. People often cling to conspiracy theories because they make them feel important, like they have insights into the world that others lack. Making conspiracists feel special—heard, appreciated, praised—through conversation is a healthier fulfillment of their psychological needs, which makes it easier for them to let go of their false beliefs.
Example:
Brad: “Covid-19 is a government hoax. Most people are just lemmings. Thank goodness I know better than to fall for that nonsense.”
You: “Brad, you’re right. You really are an independent thinker. It’s one of the things I like about you.”
Brad: “Thanks. I respect that about you too.”
You: “I’m also impressed by how much work you’ve done to understand the politics of the pandemic. That’s not easy.”
Brad: “Thanks. A lot of people just think I’m crazy. But once you sit down and start connecting the dots it’s obvious.”
You: “You and I don’t view the pandemic the same way, but I definitely don’t think you’re crazy. In fact, I could use your investigative skills on a little research project I’m doing…”
2 Smart Quotes
“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.”
-- Fyodor Dostoyevsky
“I cannot do all the good that the world needs. But the world needs all the good that I can do.”
-- Jana Stanfield
1 Smart Read
Struggling to reach loved ones who’ve fallen down a bottomless conspiracy pit? Help them climb out with Escaping the Rabbit Hole: How To Debunk Conspiracy Theories Using Facts, Logic, and Respect by Mick West. While Smart Politics puts greater emphasis on respect than facts and logic, West’s guide is useful when talking to friends and family with whom you already have a strong rapport. I especially like his “conspiracy spectrum” for assessing whether your loved one is suffering from simple (e.g., 9/11 hoax, JFK assassination) or hard-core conspiracies (e.g., Flat Earth, Reptiles), and how to adjust your response accordingly.
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Until next week,
Karin Tamerius
P.S. Good news! I’m teaching a 90-minute online workshop in August. SIGN UP HERE to learn how to have persuasive conversations with people across the political spectrum (including Trump supporters!).
P.P.S. For more practical wisdom on dealing with conspiracism, check out my article, “How to Talk with a Conspiracy Theorist” on Medium.